Coursework second piece 25th/10/2013

http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/Script/221/customFieldIDs/35/SearchValues/7m/Trapped-in-a-Monologue.aspx


http://www.icomedytv.com/Comedy-Scripts/Funny/View/Script/221/customFieldIDs/35/SearchValues/7m/Trapped-in-a-Monologue.aspx



My problems by Ruairi Egan monologue piece.

I have had a hell of a year I am not going to lie. For starters; my mate got stabbed. I have run out of money. My mum’s kicked me out. My grades that I got from school are awful, that I would rather not speak about them - at all. Oh and did I forget? My dad’s ran off with another woman. ANOTHER WOMAN. I can’t be bothered to explain, I haven't got the faintest idea of why he ran off, I mean like who the heck does that to their own family! I'm not that bothered though to be honest but it’s my mother that I worry about, I mean he could have left her note or something - but seriously I thought things like this only happened on East Enders or some rubbish fantasy soap like that! I'm annoyed at my dad the most though because if he hadn't run off with another woman then my mum would not have had to have kicked me out because my dad was the only thing stopping me from  getting kicked out. Oh... and did I forget, my biggest problem is that... I'm a junkie.

I feel so paranoid. Every time I step outside I feel as if everyone is watching me: when I cross the road, when I buy a coffee or even when I am browsing around the shops. I sense everyone's judging me because of my appearance as I have not had a shower in days, my hairs greasy and I've got a bit of a scruffy beard!  I FEEL SHIT!

But hey, hang-on, why me? All my life I have been taunted, teased and expected to fail. You know what? I am so done with everyone in my life at the moment. I need someone new in my life. Oh yeah of course I'm sorry I forgot about you, I always get entangled into my own thoughts. What is it you wanted to say again? (Awkward silence)

(Grabs needle and inserts into popping vein)

Wait a minute though (peers around the room). Oh my God!? Have I really  been ranting to myself for the past 5 minutes thinking that someone was here with me like as if I was having a conversation with someone like a friend.

What's wrong with me? Am I ill? Am I insane? Am I demented? I don't have a clue what I have just been doing - the very last thing I remember saying to myself was "I have had a hell of a year I am not going to lie".

This is mental! It's almost as if I didn't exist or was alive after those few words -  I can't comprehend or explain the emotion and despair that I am feeling right now!

Wait, wait, wait don't worry. There must be a reason for this blank memory of mine, yeah? I mean I do know that I do have my own problems, but what kind of problems make you forget your whole life completely. Hang-on. Why do I feel so good - but at the same time I feel... so paranoid...

(Breathing heavily) Wait... (Stares at needle lying on the floor)  I've never felt this good before - the feeling at the beginning when you take a hit is sensational, its almost as if you're on a different planet!

I see everything now! I see the world for what it really is!  I can see all the stars! I can hear the noises of the 7 billion people moving across the earth! I can  hear the sun's heartbeat! (Looks around in dismay and disbelief) Where am I and how on earth am I meant to get out of here? Why is the sky bright purple, why are the walls in my room green with endless black tunnels coming out of them?

(Peers across) Wait I see some funny sort of shape it could be some sort of creature that could help me get out of here - I do feel great and wonderful, but I'm scared that I'll never see the reality of earth ever again. It looks like it could help me find where the hell I am.

Oi! Yeah I'm talking to you! What am I doing here? Where am I? And how the hell do I get out of here! Don't just look at me! Answer the bloody question!

(Awkward pause) Hang on... this creature... this planet... the tunnel of blackness... I know where I am and how I got here! I'm in hell! My biggest and worst fear of taking smack has become reality... I'M IN HELL (Tears begin to fall from his face as he curls up into a ball on the floor)

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

(Pause) If this is hell, or even heaven, then it won't be for long until either some gigantic evil devil comes along to take me or hopefully some angel comes to save me from this desolate place! Wait, the weird creature is starting to come towards me! Wait, calm down, maybe if I reason with it then perhaps it will explain to me what the hell is going on! Hey mister, sorry if I was rude earlier to you, I just wanted to know where I am.

Please! Man! Stop walking towards me! I'm so so so sorry about earlier! Please just leave me be! Are you even bothering to listen to me or are you just retarded!? If you had any humanity in yourself you would have stopped by now and stopped harassing me.

I feel incredible pain now! Pain that I have never felt before! Arghhhhh! This is it - I'm ready for death to take me!

Wait! Please mister creature stop doing whatever you're doing! We can help each other and both get out of here alive! Why must I die!?

(Gets on knees as blood begins to come gushing out his mouth as he screams with pain) Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!! Just tell me ----

Is gaming taking over our lives? - Course-work - 24/10/13 14:57

Style Model : http://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2013/oct/21/oreos-addictive-cocaine

Is gaming taking over our lives?

A research carried out by scientists shows that gaming is becoming more of a problem as people are gaming for longer periods. Although everyone enjoys the odd game here and there, is gaming becoming a larger problem in our lives as its impact is increasing?





























Gaming is perhaps a great way to spend some time with friends or if you are bored and home alone, although are they really taking over our lives and having such a big impact on us? - Photo taken from: http://www.geeksugar.com/Old-Gaming-Console-Pros-31081660.



Perhaps, perhaps not.



Gaming appears to have a massive impact on everyone as people are becoming more and more obsessed with it. Almost in every family in the UK there is someone who has a device which you can use for gaming. The PlayStation systems. The Xbox's. The iPhones/iPads. Gaming. However, it may be fun and interesting to the audience that play on these devices but it doesn't warn you about the consequential obsession of gaming as people are easily influenced by the modern climate of advanced  technology and to the influence it has on the people who use this technology.

Many people believe that gaming brainwashes people and  alienates their children into playing their games/devices and to distract them from concentrating on their actual work - this is true as many students have noticed the change in their work ethic and their overall attitude to improve after 'dropping' gaming. Because of the wide spread and huge advertisement of gaming consoles it is very hard for it not to have such a big influence on the public. Also it makes life harder for the parents who have little children because if a child sees a device of technology that they like the look of then they will typically cry out to their parents - which will make their parents feel guilt tripped into allowing their children to have the brand new piece of technology.

It does not  make a difference on whether you decide your child or yourself should ban gaming in your life, because no matter how hard you try; because of the modern  and massive influx and advertisement of gaming the probability of it having an impact in your life is quite likely. 

The problem of gaming is not exactly a brand new thing, however a group of scientists who have been doing some research have recently found and published the concerns  and problems(uncorroborated) arising around the area of gaming taking over peoples lives  - and since the rise of obesity is increasing everyday - this is resulting in the rise of questions being asked by many people across the globe as to what extent of an impact gaming has over our lives.

The scientists from a Canadian research centre who were the people who raised these major issues in a document published last month written by, Professor Paul Browning, actually did not actually do any tests concerning the matter of gaming taking over our lives making his research rather unjustified.

 Word count: 505 - First Draft. 24th October 2013.

Travel writing piece homework

The street


The people. Walking. Jogging. Running. Everywhere there are swarms of people as they buzz around like  bee's as   i gazed around the narrow but elegant street. The noisy but distant sound of the vehicles on the road are slowly drowned by the hundreds of voices which bounce off the buildings on each side of the street. You can smell the freshly baked buns coming out of the oven as they are served in the gregarious restaurants.

Monologue home-work piece 06/10/2013

I decided to base my own monologue on the assessment piece that we did in class as I found the techniques in that monologue useful and easily applied in my own monologue...The use of empathy in the assessment piece to Jackie and Rose is very well done by the author as he tries to convey sorrow and regret in his monologue to convince the reader that Jackie is sorry for her actions and that she wants to make amends.




A guy called Dave has just found out his  GCSE results and is thinking back a year or 2 ago when he could have worked harder, and he is wondering what will happen now that he has failed all of his exams.

Dave: F**k my life! (Frowns in disgust as he stares at his own reflection) Why did I not work? Why did I not try? Why did I not concentrate? WHY? (Pause) If only I had been one of those kids that cared about school and tried in lessons...(Ponders while he looks up at  the sky) People used to make fun of me when I was younger for not being as bright as everybody else, even my teachers! People would often judge me because of my background. So what if both my parents are un-employed and are on benefits? They're not the ones that don't know what it is like to have two drunks for parents. (Desperately angrily worried)   I WANTED to try, but I just could not be bothered, as I spent all those hours 'Owt and Abowt' having fun with my life rather than wondering and caring about anything else. (Slight pause) I did not think about the consequences of not working; my parents used to push me hard but as my mum said to me this morning, "no matter what your grades are we will still be very proud of you" (Smiles irresistibly) - Yes proud of a failure, what will become of me now? No college will take me up. No school will take me back. No employer will take me on. Mum... what will become of me? ...

Dialogue of the Gods - 30/09/2013

Dialogue of the Gods   ZEUS: You’re a meddling, mean-spirited old man, Eros, and you won’t get any mercy from me just because you have no beard or white hair! You were about to send me off to a tryst with death! That’s right, I know all about it! Prometheus spilled the beans on Thetis and the prophecy of Zeus’s doom! No woman’s worth that! Not to mention all the little pranks you’ve played over the years! Every time you send me down to Earth to have a little fun with some mortal, I have to change into a bull, a satyr, a swan, an eagle … I’m a one-man zoo! I’m surprised you haven’t had me turn into a bunny rabbit or a titmouse! Why can’t these women ever be in love with me? I am the ruler of Olympus, after all! Why do they always have to have some sort of animal fixation! Just once, I’d like to show up as myself—be appreciated for my own charms! I mean, what kind of woman does it with a swan?! As long as I’m honking and molting and flapping those ridiculous wings, she’s in heaven, but the second I show my true form, she nearly kills herself trying to escape! I don’t get it. Apollo doesn’t have this problem. Maybe it’s the hair. This mnologue is Zeus having a conversation with himself about his problems. You can tell by the way he is talking and the way he uses "meddling, mean-spirited old man" - that this gives the impression to the whole aduience that he is angry about someone. This person he is talking about is Eros the God of love and Zeus is mad with eros because he was about to send Zeus to his death. When Zeus says "you won't get any mercy from me just because you have no beard or white hair" - this implies to the perhaps older audience that Zeus is maybe a fatherly figure or maybe a man with power and authority when he says "i will show no mercy".

Analysing another blog : 29/09/13

http://choclogblog.blogspot.co.uk/


I firstly chose this blog because of my pleasure of eating chocolate. I think the blog is very eye catching with its amazing images around the website. I also think the blog is very good as it allows people to send in things that they have made and are able to share it.

The blog isn't really a typical blog where people write their opinions about certain topics; the person has written their blog like you would with a recipe cook book. However, the author does add its own opinion after he has written the recipe, as he tries to persuade people to want to try and make the cake. For an example of how he writes his/her blog:


 This month's Random Recipes has been restricted to puddings, cakes and bakes, which suits me fine. I picked my book the usual way using Eat Your Books and got Seaweed and Eat It: a family foraging and cooking adventure by Fiona Houston and Xa Milne. My mind went into a bit of a frenzy trying to imagine what seaweed and chocolate would taste like and in what form I could possibly put them together. I had a look through the book and really there wasn't a great deal I felt I could make from it - not that included chocolate anyway. So, I cheated a little, just a tiny bit. Before giving up on the book entirely, I thought I'd look to see if there was a suitable recipe I could adapt and I found one - Yummy Muffins. These muffins were unlike anything I'd made before as they used  cream cheese and lemon juice so I was keen to try them. One of the ingredients was foraged berries. Well I didn't have any of those to hand, but I did have plenty of windfall apples, so I used those instead. And of course, I added a bit of chocolate.

This is how I made:

Apple Chocolate Chip Muffins

• Sifted 300g flour into a bowl together with 1½ tsp of baking powder and ½ tsp of bicarbonate of soda and a pinch of sea salt.
• Stirred in 175g cardamom (caster) sugar.
• Peeled, cored and finely chopped 2 cooking apples making about 200g in total.
• Added this to the flour and stirred to coat.
• Chopped 75g of milk chocolate (35% G&B)
• Melted 90g unsalted butter in a pan over low heat.
• In a separate bowl, beat 90g cream cheese with the juice of half a lemon until combined.
• Beat in 2 eggs, followed by the butter.
• Beat in 125 ml sour milk - recipe stated ordinary milk, but I had some to hand that needed using up.
• Made a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and poured in the wet ingredients. Mixed gently until just combined.
• Spooned into 12 muffin cases and baked at 180°C for 25 minutes.

As we hadn't been out of Cornwall, I didn't have anything particularly exotic to offer the team on my return from annual leave, so these muffins went back to work with me instead. They quickly disappeared and the feedback I got was very positive, so I can say these muffins were a success and I shall be making them again.

As you can see he does make his own opinion as he makes his own personal comment about the recipe, but he also tries to persuade people to want to make the muffins by talking about how he uses particular language like, "exotic" to try and persuade the reader to want to go out and make these muffins. "Exotic" gives the impression to the reader that his muffins are one of a kind and they are worth making. Also, "These muffins were unlike anything I have made before" this is a denotation but at the same time it implies that these muffins are special and it could possibly make children/house wives who are probably the main target audience want to try these out.

If I was going to take anything from this blog and write it within my blog I would take the way he is making his own opinion on each and every recipe, which makes the reader believe these cakes/chocolates are delicious and worth trying to make.

Piece of text that I analysed - Russell Howard's good news

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHWQJKAPc-0 - first 2 minutes.

Russell Howards Good news is introduced to us with a very simple comedy sketch, when he says "Ground breaking news for dieters"- then the man in the sketch says, "never eat a cupcake  as big as your head" - this could be seen as funny because it's quite obvious, however, it's silly because of the enormous size of the cupcake.

Then Russell Howard suggests that Kate Burley in the newsroom is talking about a Penis and you see her talking to her colleague. She's obviously not talking about a penis but because of the sexual connotation in the way she is talking it makes it very funny to the audience,  for example, "How big is it? Why have you got one and why I haven't? Can I have a play with it?"

The next item Russell talks about is snow in the news. He introduces it by referring to it all as a carry on film, again with sexual connotations as he talks about "inches" and "Back passage" this will make the sketch funnier. Also he mentions a woman who has been left in the snow since Friday, then we see her in the snow where she is knee deep. It's funny because it does look like she has been left in the snow for ages, but we know that she hasn't. This makes the sketch funny because it makes us laugh to think of her standing there all that time.

Finally, there's an American newscaster who is reporting about children doing dangerous things in the snow, yet it's ironic because as she is talking about this, a massive lorry comes along with a snow plough and showers her with snow. This is funny as it allows the audience to laugh, because even though it is  dangerous - we know she isn't seriously hurt or she has died. It is an example of slapstick comedy.

Russell Howard is funny because he prepares the audience with a denotation but when the scene is shown, it is often a connation.  He plays with words very successfully,