Dialogue of the Gods - 30/09/2013

Dialogue of the Gods   ZEUS: You’re a meddling, mean-spirited old man, Eros, and you won’t get any mercy from me just because you have no beard or white hair! You were about to send me off to a tryst with death! That’s right, I know all about it! Prometheus spilled the beans on Thetis and the prophecy of Zeus’s doom! No woman’s worth that! Not to mention all the little pranks you’ve played over the years! Every time you send me down to Earth to have a little fun with some mortal, I have to change into a bull, a satyr, a swan, an eagle … I’m a one-man zoo! I’m surprised you haven’t had me turn into a bunny rabbit or a titmouse! Why can’t these women ever be in love with me? I am the ruler of Olympus, after all! Why do they always have to have some sort of animal fixation! Just once, I’d like to show up as myself—be appreciated for my own charms! I mean, what kind of woman does it with a swan?! As long as I’m honking and molting and flapping those ridiculous wings, she’s in heaven, but the second I show my true form, she nearly kills herself trying to escape! I don’t get it. Apollo doesn’t have this problem. Maybe it’s the hair. This mnologue is Zeus having a conversation with himself about his problems. You can tell by the way he is talking and the way he uses "meddling, mean-spirited old man" - that this gives the impression to the whole aduience that he is angry about someone. This person he is talking about is Eros the God of love and Zeus is mad with eros because he was about to send Zeus to his death. When Zeus says "you won't get any mercy from me just because you have no beard or white hair" - this implies to the perhaps older audience that Zeus is maybe a fatherly figure or maybe a man with power and authority when he says "i will show no mercy".

Analysing another blog : 29/09/13

http://choclogblog.blogspot.co.uk/


I firstly chose this blog because of my pleasure of eating chocolate. I think the blog is very eye catching with its amazing images around the website. I also think the blog is very good as it allows people to send in things that they have made and are able to share it.

The blog isn't really a typical blog where people write their opinions about certain topics; the person has written their blog like you would with a recipe cook book. However, the author does add its own opinion after he has written the recipe, as he tries to persuade people to want to try and make the cake. For an example of how he writes his/her blog:


 This month's Random Recipes has been restricted to puddings, cakes and bakes, which suits me fine. I picked my book the usual way using Eat Your Books and got Seaweed and Eat It: a family foraging and cooking adventure by Fiona Houston and Xa Milne. My mind went into a bit of a frenzy trying to imagine what seaweed and chocolate would taste like and in what form I could possibly put them together. I had a look through the book and really there wasn't a great deal I felt I could make from it - not that included chocolate anyway. So, I cheated a little, just a tiny bit. Before giving up on the book entirely, I thought I'd look to see if there was a suitable recipe I could adapt and I found one - Yummy Muffins. These muffins were unlike anything I'd made before as they used  cream cheese and lemon juice so I was keen to try them. One of the ingredients was foraged berries. Well I didn't have any of those to hand, but I did have plenty of windfall apples, so I used those instead. And of course, I added a bit of chocolate.

This is how I made:

Apple Chocolate Chip Muffins

• Sifted 300g flour into a bowl together with 1½ tsp of baking powder and ½ tsp of bicarbonate of soda and a pinch of sea salt.
• Stirred in 175g cardamom (caster) sugar.
• Peeled, cored and finely chopped 2 cooking apples making about 200g in total.
• Added this to the flour and stirred to coat.
• Chopped 75g of milk chocolate (35% G&B)
• Melted 90g unsalted butter in a pan over low heat.
• In a separate bowl, beat 90g cream cheese with the juice of half a lemon until combined.
• Beat in 2 eggs, followed by the butter.
• Beat in 125 ml sour milk - recipe stated ordinary milk, but I had some to hand that needed using up.
• Made a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and poured in the wet ingredients. Mixed gently until just combined.
• Spooned into 12 muffin cases and baked at 180°C for 25 minutes.

As we hadn't been out of Cornwall, I didn't have anything particularly exotic to offer the team on my return from annual leave, so these muffins went back to work with me instead. They quickly disappeared and the feedback I got was very positive, so I can say these muffins were a success and I shall be making them again.

As you can see he does make his own opinion as he makes his own personal comment about the recipe, but he also tries to persuade people to want to make the muffins by talking about how he uses particular language like, "exotic" to try and persuade the reader to want to go out and make these muffins. "Exotic" gives the impression to the reader that his muffins are one of a kind and they are worth making. Also, "These muffins were unlike anything I have made before" this is a denotation but at the same time it implies that these muffins are special and it could possibly make children/house wives who are probably the main target audience want to try these out.

If I was going to take anything from this blog and write it within my blog I would take the way he is making his own opinion on each and every recipe, which makes the reader believe these cakes/chocolates are delicious and worth trying to make.

Piece of text that I analysed - Russell Howard's good news

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHWQJKAPc-0 - first 2 minutes.

Russell Howards Good news is introduced to us with a very simple comedy sketch, when he says "Ground breaking news for dieters"- then the man in the sketch says, "never eat a cupcake  as big as your head" - this could be seen as funny because it's quite obvious, however, it's silly because of the enormous size of the cupcake.

Then Russell Howard suggests that Kate Burley in the newsroom is talking about a Penis and you see her talking to her colleague. She's obviously not talking about a penis but because of the sexual connotation in the way she is talking it makes it very funny to the audience,  for example, "How big is it? Why have you got one and why I haven't? Can I have a play with it?"

The next item Russell talks about is snow in the news. He introduces it by referring to it all as a carry on film, again with sexual connotations as he talks about "inches" and "Back passage" this will make the sketch funnier. Also he mentions a woman who has been left in the snow since Friday, then we see her in the snow where she is knee deep. It's funny because it does look like she has been left in the snow for ages, but we know that she hasn't. This makes the sketch funny because it makes us laugh to think of her standing there all that time.

Finally, there's an American newscaster who is reporting about children doing dangerous things in the snow, yet it's ironic because as she is talking about this, a massive lorry comes along with a snow plough and showers her with snow. This is funny as it allows the audience to laugh, because even though it is  dangerous - we know she isn't seriously hurt or she has died. It is an example of slapstick comedy.

Russell Howard is funny because he prepares the audience with a denotation but when the scene is shown, it is often a connation.  He plays with words very successfully,

Commentary - (this isnt handwirtten because i do all my exams on a computer).....

I decided to start my piece on myself with a simple description, as an introduction to my piece to set the scene.  I decided to write about this specific thing about my life, because I did live in India when I was 7 years old, but i wanted to make up a story to makke it sound more interesting.  I think starting off with a description/background of my story was the right thing to do, because it gave the reader some background details. I then carried on with the story with some simple description about the taj - mahal and what it looked like - "beauty of the delicately white but sleek building".  I then decided to use the effect of the senses and i also decided to use a metaphor and personification at the same time "As I felt the wind blow up against my face I could hear the tree's whisper as they laid beside the colossal building" I thought that this was a very effective sentence as the reader can perhaps visualise the scene that i have described.

(Armstrong and Miller RAF pilots 'D-Day' - please note that the characters are very politically incorrect while claiming to be well-versed in "diversity" issues)

I think the writer sets the comical scene very well. In the first bit of the scene the sergeant says "All right chaps, are you ready", in a casual way which makes it seem quite funny, because realistically a sergeant would be shouting like mad telling his men to get ready. Also, it could be seen to be quite funny because the sergeant says "get ready for war", in a jolly way which could be seen as humour.
The two men Armstrong and miller also make the clip quite funny because they are dressed like they are ready to go on holiday but yet they about to enter a war-zone, this can be seen as funny as the writer has made it ironic. It's also quite funny and ironic when the sergeant says, "right men, you know what to expect on that beach", when he says this you see Armstrong and miller with a beach toy and a bucket and spade - this makes the scene ironic and funny, as they are about to enter a battle.

The clip is quite comical as the two men use a quite controversial register, as they chat to each other in quite an informal/colloquial way, which gives the impression that they are friends, as they talk about quite graphic things, like "ladies costumes, pubes" . The two men make the clip comical more so as their sociolect is an upper class tone, which is ironic as most of the upper class people during WW2 would not have to had of fought. Furthermore the two men come across ignorant when they say that they're not racist, but yet they use rascist terms - this makes it ironic which can across as humour.  The way the conversation between armstrong and miller opens up, it starts to go into a phonological rhythm which makes the play not just more comical but it  makes it more enjoyable.

15/09/2013 Text -

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2013/sep/15/cristiano-ronaldo-new-real-madrid-deal






Cristiano Ronaldo has agreed a contract extension with Real Madrid, the La Liga club said on Sunday.
Real did not provide details but said the 2008 World Player of the Year and the club president Florentino Pérez would appear at a ceremony at the Bernabéu stadium later on Sunday.
Spanish media reported Ronaldo's new deal extends his contract by three years to 2018 and lifts his net annual salary to €17m (£14.24m). The deal would appear Manchester United fans' hopes that Ronaldo may return to Old Trafford in the future.
Ronaldo joined Real from Manchester United in 2009 for what was then a world record fee of €94m.
The 28-year-old has scored 203 goals in 203 official games for the Spanish giants, helping them to a La Liga title in the 2011-12 season and a King's Cup triumph in 2011 but falling short in the Champions League. He scored on Saturday night in the draw against Villarreal.
Real broke the transfer record again earlier this month when they signed the Wales winger Gareth Bale from Tottenham Hotspur for €100m, who made his debut in the match against Villareal


Interviewer: Is it true you have signed a brand new deal with Real Madrid?

Ronaldo: Yes, I have agreed a contract extension with Real Madrid, we agreed terms on sunday.

Interviewer: Are you going to make a public appearance any time soon?

Ronaldo: Yes, Florentino Perez and me plan to make a public appearance at the Bernabeu stadium later this Sunday.

Interviewer: Can you give us any details about the contract?

Ronaldo: Yes, I can, I have agreed a contract extension which lasts until 2018, with a net annual salary of 17million Euros.

Interviewer: So is this the end of any hope of you returning to Man United?

Ronaldo: At the moment I am happy at Madrid and that is all I can say at the moment. I left Man United in 2009 for a world record fee of 94 million Euros.

Interviewer: How successful have you been at Real Madrid and do you think you have accomplished what you dreamed of?

Ronaldo: I have 203 goals in 203 games which I think is better than most players in the world, and yes I have won La Liga with Madrid, but I do hope of one day winning the champions league.

Interviewer: How do you think Gareth Bale will do? And do you think that he might become Madrids next star player?

Ronaldo: Yes I think he will do fine but I think that maybe he will struggle with the pressure because of the world record fee.

My experience piece assessment by ruairi egan 06/09/2013

When I was seven years of age  I briefly lived in a country called India  for one year, which has approximately one billion people inhabiting in the vastly growing  populated country. One of my favourite memories was when I visited the Taj Mahal. This memory struck me because of the visual beauty of the delicately white but sleek building that stood before me. As I felt the wind blow up  against my face I could hear the  tree's whisper as they laid beside the colossal building. I looked up into the sky, as I felt the sun smiling back at me with its burning heat which gave my pallid, but pale skin flakes that glistened in the sun.   When I got nearer to the entrance I could feel the presence of glory, as I realised that I was coming to one of the 7 wonders in the world.

Suddenly a pretty ugly woman scurried along to us where we were standing. She was a mouse, when you looked at how tall she was. She had a crooked nose with rosy red lips, and a set of brown eyes that pierced you when you dared to look into them. "Dark, daring and dangerous", said the people who warned us about the conniving and callous guides, who would lead people astray and rob them blind and murder them. This dark but elusive tiny woman didn't look too much of a threat. Or could she be?  I wondered whether or not it would be better to wander and explore the magical and marvellous building ourselves and choose to ignore the myths. However, my mother decided to ignore the myths of the "dark, dangerous and devious" guides for me, and we were then given no choice but to just trust this fragile but elusive woman.


I decided to ignore the myths myself and just try to enjoy myself. I mean isn't that what you're meant to do on holiday? She lead us to the main entrance, and it was a sight to be hold...  Massive Golden doors, with crafty, ancient  silver statues that shone up in the lustrous deep blue sky. I had never seen actual Gold in my life before that. The "mouse" women then slithered across to the elegant but delightful door handle and gracefully opened the doors for us to enter. Our guide eventually told us abit about her self, " allo mon appelle est isabelle and I speak very little English", this bemused us as we were confused about what she was on about. I decided that I was getting a little bit frustrated with her and decided to ask her a straight question, "Okay... nice to meet you Isabelle... just one question. Wheres the main bit to? And 'ow longs the tour gowna be?" After I had replied Isabelle looked puzzled because she probably didn't recognise my accent very well, as she continued her tour around the archaic, legendary monument.

Suddenly we reached to a smooth wooden door, to the side of the grand monument. Me and my mum looked to each other, as we questioned what was happening, but didn't have enough time to think...

Suddenly out of no where came three thugs!!! One had a white balaclava, holding a 5 inch knife, whilst the other two held mean looking guns. I tried to scream for help... but it was too late, as they slammed me across the dirty carpet, picking me up and taking me through the mysterious wooden door.

Blood was everywhere as I collapsed into unveiled darkness...

Problems of poverty - Ruairi Egan

The poem "poverty" written by Segun Rasaki, is a very intriguing insight into the shocking reality of the modern society. The poet sucks the reader in as he uses the skill of idiolect, as he talks about the poverty of "agony, rejection, ignorance", which makes me feel empathy for the author, because I can visualise his anger and pain, about the harsh veracity of life. I think that it's quite a clever poem too because it starts the word "poverty" for the start of every line, which makes it look more unique, because it makes the poem more memorable to the reader because it makes  the reader think about the impact of poverty.
I think that the poem isn't actually very good, however, I chose to write about it because it underlines the impact of poverty ,which is what is happening now  in every country of the world and it  is a very worrying and significant problem in present time. I think its a very personal poem to the poet, because of his origins, as he is from Nigeria, so he has probably witnessed a certain amount of poverty. That also makes the poem seem more powerful, because it's coming from the poets anger and frustration perhaps, as he "rants" on about the disadvantages and unfairness of poverty. Overall, I think that the poet has made his poem quite salient, because  the poem is sending off a very important message about the increasing amount of poverty in modern society.

Poverty

The entity that is dreaded by all but ever present everywhere, a non-respecter of age,
Poverty does not have regard for race, nor nationality, as it is present in every part of the globe,
Poverty breeds diseases, it has siblings like misery, ignorance, illiteracy, dejection, rejection, degradation, agony,
Poverty means the difference between haves and have-nots, the rich and the poor, the upper and the lower class,
Poverty is a quick destroyer of human as it makes people ‘sell' lots of things including conscience, and destroys self-esteem,

Poverty, what a curse that has a spectrum; from mild, relative, to abject poverty,
Poverty is a monster that destroys families, communities and societies, always a bad commodity in the market place,
Poverty determines how you get treated by the society, and you are loathed for your status,
Poverty gets written all over you once you are in the lower class, caste system in every society is a celebration and endorsement of poverty as social classification,
Some societies believe you are born into poverty and you should be in poverty for life, please ask who is a 'Dalit' in Asia,
Poverty makes people call you 'Church rat', the basics of everyday living become luxuries to the poor,
Poverty robs you of dignity, it robs you of a chance to be heard, as ‘ no good ideas come from the poor',

Poverty in father, poverty in mother, definitely rubs off on the children, poverty is a disease difficult to cure,
Poverty is a giant monster that can only be tamed by dedicated hard-work, prayers as Jabez did, and may seem un-surmountable, may be intimidating, but can be defeated,
Every mother discusses poverty with her kids, how terrible and merciless of a character is poverty,
Poverty is the character every father tells its fairy tale and the importance of using education as weapon to attack it,
Poverty an equal opportunity degrader of a person, multiple acronyms have been given to poverty in every culture and society.

SEGUN RASAKI